A Funny Phobia

It’s time someone stood up for clowns. I’m talking about the injustice of these funny people being feared for no good reason. In this piece, I will argue that this should not be the case. I promise that, in making my case, I will not squirt water at you with a pretend flower. 

     It is said that people are born with two innate fears, that of falling and loud noises. (Actually, there’s a good case for a third one – the fear of tax forms). As we go through life we may become afraid of other things which in turn may develop into full-blown phobias. Coulrophobia, or the fear of clowns, is one. In my opinion, there are three main reasons for this:  

Clothes: Clowns have an eccentric way of dressing, particularly when it comes to footwear. However, a predilection for boots does not mean the wearer is menacing. I know groups such as skinheads like to wear boots too, but I can’t imagine skinheads walking around with oversized red and yellow ones. Unless they’re skinheads who happen to have a great sense of humour.

Make-up: Clowns wear so much make-up that the person underneath becomes unrecognisable. Someone with a vivid imagination could believe a former school bully, or some other nasty person could be behind that face paint. It could even be the President of the United States. I mean, presidents have been known to wear silly wigs. But the chances are the clown is an ordinary person who just happens to look like a baddie from a Stephen King Novel. This brings me to my final point…

Bad press: The media plays a part too, whether it’s portraying clowns as movie villains or people dressing up as scary clowns on the news. But you must realise not all clowns are evil – or funny, for that matter.

     Remember, clowns dedicate their lives to making you laugh, not scared. In fact, next time you’re at the cinema and are frightened by a baddie on screen, imagine that character as a clown and I guarantee you’ll feel better. Please note: This won’t work if the character is called Pennywise.

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© John E. McBride (2017)