Nearly Awards 2017

It’s the time of year when awards are handed out like flyers at a world championship for leaflet distributors. It does make sense that accolades are presented at the end of a year – I think the Psychic Association is the only organisation that held their 2017 awards in January. I’m going to give my own ‘honours’ for the year. My Nearly Awards are for those who thought they had achieved something big, when, in fact, they hadn’t. Read on and it will all become clear.

    

     First up, I’d like to give a Nearly Award to everyone associated with the movie La La Land. These people thought they had won the 2017 Oscar for best picture after they were announced as the winners. However, a mistake had been made; Moonlight had won. It meant limelight for Moonlight and boohoo land for La La Land.

    The second award goes to the people behind South Africa’s bid to host the 2023 Rugby Union World Cup. The South Africans were certain they would be staging the tournament when the Rugby World Cup Limited Board (yes, that’s what they’re called) recommended them over their rivals, France and Ireland. It turns out the Rugby World Cup Limited Board is indeed limited when it comes to recommendations. France won leaving South Africa and Ireland disappointed. At least Ireland had the consolation of a first appearance in a men’s Rugby World Cup ‘final three’.

     We move north of South Africa to Zimbabwe for our final recipient. For a while, the country’s military appeared to be Nearly Award winners. They had staged a coup to oust President Mugabe, and at first, it looked like the best coup ever, as the majority of Zimbabweans supported their army and there was little trouble. In fact, the only trouble they had was the fact that President Mugabe remained in power. Mugabe eventually resigned, but for nearly staying on as president, he gets a Nearly Award.

    That’s my Nearly Awards for 2017. You will not be surprised to learn that no ‘winner’ turned up in person to collect their prize. They didn’t even nearly make it – which is apt, I suppose.

Before you go, a share and follow would be appreciated. Thank you.

© John E. McBride (2017)

    

Please Keep Reading

Hello Everyone, 

My apologies for not posting this week. I've suffered a family bereavement and feel it is inappropriate to post humour at this sad time. I intend to add more pieces very soon, so please keep checking. 

Thank you. 

John 

My Review of The Walking Dead

In this piece, I’m going to review the US television show The Walking Dead. I say review, this is probably unlike any other analysis of the programme you’ve ever read. That said, if this is a success, I might review more shows.

     The Walking Dead takes place in a post-apocalyptic world. Everything’s in chaos; just imagine it’s the day after Saint Patrick’s Day – it’s that messy. The central government doesn’t appear to be in control – so nothing new there.

    To make matters worse, the place is overrun by ‘walkers’. The walkers are living dead, so in a way, they’re like accountants (although accountants are much scarier). The walkers might look frightening, but they don’t move very fast. In fact, the show should be called Walking Dead Slow. 

    As you can imagine, it’s tough being a living person in this scenario. Not only are the walkers after you, some living people from other groups don’t like you much either. It’s difficult to relax, especially if the only DVD you have to watch is Night of the Living Dead. 

    Overall view: I’d like to say that The Walking Dead is an exercise in existentialism – mainly because it makes me look clever. 

     If you would like to review my review, I would welcome your comments. And a share and follow would be appreciated. Thank you.

© John E. McBride (2017)