In this post, I’m including a piece I wrote for my local Gaelic football team in Monaghan, Ireland – Toome GFC. It’s from 2013, has been slightly edited, and is on the theme of disappointment. I hope it doesn’t disappoint you. The article follows below.
I can still picture the football player as he made his way home from the Pearce Park dressing room over thirty years ago. Although I had just arrived at the sports ground, I knew his team had been defeated in the first match that afternoon – such was the unmistakable look of disappointment on his face. A consoling voice came from the crowd:
“Maybe next time.”
The player hardly took any notice and walked on with his head bowed. That man followed in the footsteps of many defeated players, and in turn, more would follow him. The journey from the losing dressing room to the car park will remain some of the most difficult steps a player can take in football – unless they start playing matches on ice rinks.
I’ll write about one of my own sporting let-downs; it’s quite a big one:
In 2012, I thought I had a chance of winning one of the categories on BBC Sports Personality of the Year. I’m serious; there was a rumour going around that the London Olympic volunteers (of which I was one) could win the team prize. Yes, I thought I was a contender, along with the likes of Andy Murray, noted for his skill with a racket and ball over the course of a tennis match, and Rory McIlroy who's noted for his skill with a driver and putter over a golf course. By the way, I’m noted for my skill with a knife and fork over a five-course meal. Speaking of courses…
Of course, I didn’t win. In case you’re interested, the team award went to the British Olympic squad. For my part, I’ve learned to be more realistic regarding awards. Or maybe not: Sometimes I dream these blogs will win something. I’m not fussy – the Nobel Prize in Literature will do. Mind you, I don’t think I’ll be the Nobel laureate this year. Maybe next time.
© John E. McBride (2017)
Before I finish, I would be grateful for a Share and Follow. Thank you.
Moanaghan Man
Sunday 30 July 2017
Sunday 23 July 2017
Read Here
It annoys me when people and organisations insult my intelligence. Take life insurance companies who promise me a good deal if I take out a policy with them. They could do a better deal – by paying me now. Here’s my logic: 1) It’s called ‘life’ insurance. 2) I’m living. 3) So where’s my money?
I appreciate people who try to help me through life but sometimes they can be too kind. For instance, when I have to sign something and the other person places an ‘X’ on the line to show my signature goes there. This is not required; my cognitive ability is such that the words ‘Sign here’ is sufficient information. I have travelled all over the world – to places like the States, Australia and Monaghan town. I can find my way around a sheet of paper, thank you.
Then we have transport companies who come up with ridiculous excuses for delays or cancellations. My favourite is ‘ the wrong type of snow’ which was the media’s interpretation of what British Rail was saying after bad weather disrupted services in 1991. I always thought there was only one kind of snow but apparently, there’s a snow strain that can stop a train. Perhaps they should go all the way (unlike their trains) with their excuses and say that they are operating on the wrong planet.
Staying on the climate, it makes me smile when weather-forecasters predict a day that will be filled with ‘sunshine and showers. They’re not being very precise here, especially if they’re giving the weather in a four-seasons-in-a-day country. As predictions go, it’s like saying a sports team will win, lose or draw their next game. Besides, I can tell if there’ll be sunshine and showers the moment I step out my front door. Come on, weather-forecasters, give us more information, please. You can at least say what type of snow we’ll be getting.
© John E. McBride (2017)
Before I go, a share and follow would be much appreciated. Thank you.
I appreciate people who try to help me through life but sometimes they can be too kind. For instance, when I have to sign something and the other person places an ‘X’ on the line to show my signature goes there. This is not required; my cognitive ability is such that the words ‘Sign here’ is sufficient information. I have travelled all over the world – to places like the States, Australia and Monaghan town. I can find my way around a sheet of paper, thank you.
Then we have transport companies who come up with ridiculous excuses for delays or cancellations. My favourite is ‘ the wrong type of snow’ which was the media’s interpretation of what British Rail was saying after bad weather disrupted services in 1991. I always thought there was only one kind of snow but apparently, there’s a snow strain that can stop a train. Perhaps they should go all the way (unlike their trains) with their excuses and say that they are operating on the wrong planet.
Staying on the climate, it makes me smile when weather-forecasters predict a day that will be filled with ‘sunshine and showers. They’re not being very precise here, especially if they’re giving the weather in a four-seasons-in-a-day country. As predictions go, it’s like saying a sports team will win, lose or draw their next game. Besides, I can tell if there’ll be sunshine and showers the moment I step out my front door. Come on, weather-forecasters, give us more information, please. You can at least say what type of snow we’ll be getting.
© John E. McBride (2017)
Before I go, a share and follow would be much appreciated. Thank you.
Sunday 16 July 2017
Poll-axed
People who compile political opinion polls should be good at two things: Predictions and numbers. But after their recent failure to correctly forecast the results of Brexit, the 2016 US presidential election, and the 2017 UK general election, it’s unlikely pollsters will be asked to predict winning lottery numbers anytime soon.
It could be argued that incorrect opinion polls are good indicators of a country’s democratic credentials because they show its citizens can and do change their minds about their politicians. In fact, the only places where opinion polls would be right all the time are dictatorships – that’s because the only opinion that counts in the country belongs to the dictator.
Nevertheless, polls could be more accurate. I think the fault doesn’t lie with the pollsters but rather the participants. I mean, the ‘don’t know’ people probably don’t even vote as they don’t even know it’s election day. Even if they did, they wouldn’t go to the polling station as they’d be too busy deliberating on what clothes to wear.
Apart from the ‘don’t know’ folk, I think another group should be removed from opinion poll figures. I’ll call them ‘misleaders’ – people who say they will vote one way when they know they will vote the other. These devious people shouldn’t be taking part in election opinion polls. They should be standing for election.
That’s my opinion on polls. If you have an opinion on opinion polls or an opinion on my opinion on opinion polls, please feel free to leave a comment. I’d also appreciate it if you would ‘vote’ for me by giving me a Like, Share and Follow. And please follow me on
Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/moanaghanman/
and Twitter
https://twitter.com/JohnEMcBride1
Thank you.
(c) John E. McBride
It could be argued that incorrect opinion polls are good indicators of a country’s democratic credentials because they show its citizens can and do change their minds about their politicians. In fact, the only places where opinion polls would be right all the time are dictatorships – that’s because the only opinion that counts in the country belongs to the dictator.
Nevertheless, polls could be more accurate. I think the fault doesn’t lie with the pollsters but rather the participants. I mean, the ‘don’t know’ people probably don’t even vote as they don’t even know it’s election day. Even if they did, they wouldn’t go to the polling station as they’d be too busy deliberating on what clothes to wear.
Apart from the ‘don’t know’ folk, I think another group should be removed from opinion poll figures. I’ll call them ‘misleaders’ – people who say they will vote one way when they know they will vote the other. These devious people shouldn’t be taking part in election opinion polls. They should be standing for election.
That’s my opinion on polls. If you have an opinion on opinion polls or an opinion on my opinion on opinion polls, please feel free to leave a comment. I’d also appreciate it if you would ‘vote’ for me by giving me a Like, Share and Follow. And please follow me on
https://www.facebook.com/moanaghanman/
and Twitter
https://twitter.com/JohnEMcBride1
Thank you.
(c) John E. McBride
Sunday 9 July 2017
No Game For Ireland Is Just Not Cricket
Ireland’s cricket team have joined its football and rugby counterparts at the highest level in the world. In order to honour all involved, this piece will be about cricket. Please don’t yawn or stop reading. You’ll find cricket has a lot going for it if you read on.
For those new to the sport, I’ll start with some cricket basics: Someone bats and another person tries to get him out. Howzat for basic? (Cricketers shout ‘Howzat’ a lot – couldn’t resist the pun). Every player on the bowler’s team (apart from the bowler) stands around and watches. There’s not much else for these players to do except catch the ball every now and then. Nobody has the heart to tell these fellows that when they’re not being glorified spectators, they’re being glorified ball boys. Meanwhile, the batsman’s teammates are also taking it easy.
With all the standing and sitting around, the exhausted players need breaks for lunch and tea. Yes, that’s lunch and tea – as if a game of cricket wasn’t long enough. The ‘proper’ spectators don’t seem to mind the long interruptions. They just wake up and have something to eat themselves. Rain can stop play but I doubt it stops the dining.
Cricket is so slow that if the New York Jets played the game, they would be called the New York Propeller-driven Aircraft. It can take up to five days to complete a Test Match – it would only take one day if the players didn't eat.
At the beginning of this piece, I stated cricket has a lot going for it so, to be fair, I will mention a few of the sport’s good points. It requires skill, can be exciting, the supporters are fantastic and what’s not to like about a game with terms like ‘silly mid-on’ (don’t ask), ‘follow through’ (definitely don’t ask) and ‘googly’ (a googly is a type of bowling delivery, not a new internet search engine).
In 2017, Ireland gained Test status, a huge honour and a recognition of the dedication of the country’s cricket community. There’s just one problem – Ireland may have to wait to get a Test game. In other words, the world won’t let them have the ball. It appears Irish cricketers have one more thing in common with the Republic of Ireland football team.
© John E. McBride
For those new to the sport, I’ll start with some cricket basics: Someone bats and another person tries to get him out. Howzat for basic? (Cricketers shout ‘Howzat’ a lot – couldn’t resist the pun). Every player on the bowler’s team (apart from the bowler) stands around and watches. There’s not much else for these players to do except catch the ball every now and then. Nobody has the heart to tell these fellows that when they’re not being glorified spectators, they’re being glorified ball boys. Meanwhile, the batsman’s teammates are also taking it easy.
With all the standing and sitting around, the exhausted players need breaks for lunch and tea. Yes, that’s lunch and tea – as if a game of cricket wasn’t long enough. The ‘proper’ spectators don’t seem to mind the long interruptions. They just wake up and have something to eat themselves. Rain can stop play but I doubt it stops the dining.
Cricket is so slow that if the New York Jets played the game, they would be called the New York Propeller-driven Aircraft. It can take up to five days to complete a Test Match – it would only take one day if the players didn't eat.
At the beginning of this piece, I stated cricket has a lot going for it so, to be fair, I will mention a few of the sport’s good points. It requires skill, can be exciting, the supporters are fantastic and what’s not to like about a game with terms like ‘silly mid-on’ (don’t ask), ‘follow through’ (definitely don’t ask) and ‘googly’ (a googly is a type of bowling delivery, not a new internet search engine).
In 2017, Ireland gained Test status, a huge honour and a recognition of the dedication of the country’s cricket community. There’s just one problem – Ireland may have to wait to get a Test game. In other words, the world won’t let them have the ball. It appears Irish cricketers have one more thing in common with the Republic of Ireland football team.
© John E. McBride
Sunday 2 July 2017
Some Theories on Theories
Scientists have too much time on their hands. Literally. For example, there’s something called the B-theory of time. I don’t know what this is exactly; I always thought ‘B time’ was said by cinema-goers in the 1940s just before a Ronald Reagan movie came on the screen. All I know is that there’s a good chance this theory is about time – as in it’s about time scientists stopped coming up with all this nonsense. It seems boffins are now having hourly competitions to see who can imagine the most unimaginable theory.
Even the great Albert Einstein got in on the act with his Theory of Relativity. Again, don’t ask me to explain this. I suppose it’s called the Theory of Relativity because it’s taken a relativity long time to prove that E = MC Hammer.
I’ve come up with something more useful than Professor Einstein’s effort. I’ve called it my Theory of Relatives. I’ll explain: Say you have a flatulent uncle called Ernie who pretends his dog is the one with the gas problem. The equation for this would go: E = BWBD which stands for (Uncle) Ernie Breaks Wind (and) Blames (his) Dog. You might think this theory is trivial but in fact, it is very important – if you’re Ernie’s dog. My supposition is also a lot easier to prove than Einstein’s effort. You can send my Nobel Prize in the post.
I’m not impressed by the Big Bang Theory either. It has little going for it apart from being called after a comedy show on television. Yes, I admit the universe could have started with a big bang but it could have begun with a lot less fuss – that’s why I’m a fan of the Little Whimper Theory.
Then there is the Flat Earth Theory. To be fair, there probably aren’t too many scientists who believe the Earth is flat, especially if they have taken the time to visit Nepal or Switzerland. Perhaps this theory’s proponents come from the Netherlands. This thesis is ridiculous in my opinion, as you can probably guess. So don’t give me the Flat Earth Theory – I’m still trying to get my head around the Flat Stomach Theory.
© John E. McBride
Thank you for reading. Please feel free to comment. I would also appreciate a Like and Share. Thank you.
Even the great Albert Einstein got in on the act with his Theory of Relativity. Again, don’t ask me to explain this. I suppose it’s called the Theory of Relativity because it’s taken a relativity long time to prove that E = MC Hammer.
I’ve come up with something more useful than Professor Einstein’s effort. I’ve called it my Theory of Relatives. I’ll explain: Say you have a flatulent uncle called Ernie who pretends his dog is the one with the gas problem. The equation for this would go: E = BWBD which stands for (Uncle) Ernie Breaks Wind (and) Blames (his) Dog. You might think this theory is trivial but in fact, it is very important – if you’re Ernie’s dog. My supposition is also a lot easier to prove than Einstein’s effort. You can send my Nobel Prize in the post.
I’m not impressed by the Big Bang Theory either. It has little going for it apart from being called after a comedy show on television. Yes, I admit the universe could have started with a big bang but it could have begun with a lot less fuss – that’s why I’m a fan of the Little Whimper Theory.
Then there is the Flat Earth Theory. To be fair, there probably aren’t too many scientists who believe the Earth is flat, especially if they have taken the time to visit Nepal or Switzerland. Perhaps this theory’s proponents come from the Netherlands. This thesis is ridiculous in my opinion, as you can probably guess. So don’t give me the Flat Earth Theory – I’m still trying to get my head around the Flat Stomach Theory.
© John E. McBride
Thank you for reading. Please feel free to comment. I would also appreciate a Like and Share. Thank you.
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