Moanday Motivation

Many people feel down when they go back to work after a weekend or holiday. In this piece, I stress the positives of returning to work. I won’t use any clichés like “At least it gets you out of the house” because a lot of things can get you out of the house – for example, walking the dog, or going out to the ice cream van, or walking the dog while you go out to the ice cream van. (Not recommended). 

     My strategy to make you feel better about your job will be this: Write about even worse jobs. I apologise if you actually do the work I’m about to mention. If you are, perhaps this blog post might make you want to consider changing career. Or changing the blog posts that you read. (As long as that doesn’t include ‘Moanaghan Man’).

     The first horrible job on my list is acting in a laxative commercial. Think about it. The actor didn’t get the role due to his/her dramatic ability; it was because he/she looked constipated. Hardly a skill that’s going to win an Academy Award – unless it’s the award for ‘A career that’s literally going down the pan.’

    Another thankless task is delivering mail to the US Secret Service. The problem here arises from the fact that the address of the US Secret Service is, well, secret. Imagine the poor postal worker(s) tasked with delivering a letter to that organisation. They have to knock on every door in the States and inquire if the secret service is located there. I imagine they go alphabetically, so would begin their quest in Alabama. Twenty years later, they’re in Delaware, reached retirement age, and still haven’t found the secret service. And they didn’t even get the consolation of a trip to Hawaii.

    If you still want to be on holiday, think about my next terrible job: Pretending to be on holiday. You might think acting or modelling on a beach would be a dream and it is – up to a point. But think about what happens when the time comes to actually go on holiday. Where do you go? You have seen enough glamourous locations so the only thing to do is go home and spend the time looking at afternoon television – and at yourself in adverts in which you pretend to be on holiday. It would make you wish you’d done a laxative commercial instead.

Before you go, I’d like to ask you to please share this piece and follow my blog. Thank you.

© John E. McBride (2017)