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It annoys me when people and organisations insult my intelligence. Take life insurance companies who promise me a good deal if I take out a policy with them. They could do a better deal – by paying me now. Here’s my logic: 1) It’s called ‘life’ insurance. 2) I’m living. 3) So where’s my money?

     I appreciate people who try to help me through life but sometimes they can be too kind. For instance, when I have to sign something and the other person places an ‘X’ on the line to show my signature goes there. This is not required; my cognitive ability is such that the words ‘Sign here’ is sufficient information. I have travelled all over the world – to places like the States, Australia and Monaghan town. I can find my way around a sheet of paper, thank you.

    Then we have transport companies who come up with ridiculous excuses for delays or cancellations. My favourite is ‘ the wrong type of snow’ which was the media’s interpretation of what British Rail was saying after bad weather disrupted services in 1991. I always thought there was only one kind of snow but apparently, there’s a snow strain that can stop a train. Perhaps they should go all the way (unlike their trains) with their excuses and say that they are operating on the wrong planet.

     Staying on the climate, it makes me smile when weather-forecasters predict a day that will be filled with ‘sunshine and showers. They’re not being very precise here, especially if they’re giving the weather in a four-seasons-in-a-day country. As predictions go, it’s like saying a sports team will win, lose or draw their next game. Besides, I can tell if there’ll be sunshine and showers the moment I step out my front door. Come on, weather-forecasters, give us more information, please. You can at least say what type of snow we’ll be getting.

© John E. McBride (2017) 

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