Blogger Fantastic

Superheroes are overrated. Take Batman. The only superpower he seems to have is the ability to dress up like a bat. Big deal. He doesn’t even manage to look convincing. I mean, you don’t see many of those creatures flying around with an image of another bat displayed on their chest. As for his nemeses, the likes of Riddler and Penguin are beatable, but Batman could be in trouble if he ever takes on Raccoon-man. 

     Like Gotham’s top crime fighter, Superman has the appearance of someone who’s on his way to a fancy dress party. But at least Superman can run faster than a train – though that’s not very impressive if the train in question belongs to UK Southern Rail. In my opinion, Superman’s main claim to fame is the fact that people don’t mind that he wears his underpants on the outside of his clothes. That’s a real superpower, not to mention a good way to avoid skid marks. 

     Superheroes are not confined to the United States (though I’m sure Captain America isn’t allowed to wander far). For instance, Britain had Captain Fantastic in the 1960s. I don't know his superpower party piece but with a name like that, I’m guessing it’s not modesty. Captain Fantastic’s blatant arrogance is such that it’s a wonder he hasn’t made himself a general by now.

     Ireland should have a superhero – Conor McGregor must need a helping hand. It would be unimaginative to borrow the Green Hornet or Incredible Hulk just because they’re the right colour for the job. We need a home-grown hero. Supergael would be a good title for him or her. I realise Supergael could’ve been the name the (Irish political) Fine Gael party called themselves had they been founded by Captain Fantastic. Still, at least this would be unique – a superhero who sounds like a party as opposed to looking like someone who’s going to one.

© John E. McBride